Wheee!

I’m feeling kind of trapped in Portland and I want to get away for a weekend here soon.

I just checked my travel fund, thinking there was probably enough to get me a slice of pie up in Centralia, since last I remember I emptied it out for my Seattle Comic Fun Fest.

There’s $250 in there.

That’s what regular saving does! SAYONARA, SUCKERS! I’mna getting out of town!

Beans! Beans! YAY BEANS!

“I made beans and rice last night,” my coworker informed me proudly.

“I didn’t!” I said.

My coworker was shocked. And rightly so. I eat beans and rice at least eight meals a week.

Because beans and rice are tasty. And cheap. But also? TASTY! As for me and my house, we only eat tasty food. Because what is the point of living if you don’t eat tasty food?

That’s a double serving of beans and rice right there. Using 100% organic ingredients, because that’s how I roll. Including the strained yogurt, the cost for that double serving is $1.95. Sans yogurt? $0.95. Because I bought the expensive I-Promise-Not-To-Dink-Up-Your-Lactose-Intolerant-Digestive-Tract yogurt.

Which lied to me.

But anyway! BEANS ARE AWESOME. Chickpeas make hummus. Kidney beans make chili. Pintos make everything better. And lentils are f’n awesome, yo. For the pulse-challenged, the beanie weanies in the photo above are lentils. Lentils are the gateway drug to serious bean addiction. They cook up in 20 minutes flat, just as fast as pasta, and take a lot of the same toppings as pasta, but have something like 8 of the 12 amino acids that make up ‘complete protein’. The other four are found in rice.

BEANS AND RICE FTW! \o/

However, beans are scary to people for some reason. “I don’t know how to cook with them” I hear a LOT. I also hear that they’re boring. You see that picture up there? Does that look BORING TO YOU? The photo above is dal, which is not crazy-complex, but it does take about an hour with some intense onion carmelization action. Some days, though, all you want to do is boil and eat out of the pot. RECIPE FOR YOU! YAY RECIPE!

Bloody Hell.

Got a letter from the Oregon State Department of Revenue last night.

Apparently I did a math error on my taxes and owe them another $324.00.

Plus 7.85 in interest.

This month, since I was gone on an unpaid vacation for a week (yeah, temps don’t get paid vacay because it’s more fun to watch their heads explode from the stress of this work) I’m not going to be able to pay it. Good news, though! The State will only charge me $.08 a day in interest and if I pay before August 22nd, I won’t be hit with a 5% penalty!

This year has made me a 100% proponent of the Universal Flat Tax. 12% across the board, no excuses, no upper limits, no deductions, none of this bullshit.

How to Save Money on Clothes

This blog post is rated R for language. If you don’t like that kinda thing, best move along now.

In case you couldn’t tell, I’m a bit of the office character. You know every office has to have (at least) one kinda geeky, out-there person. Well, for my office, that’s me.

My dislike for green vegetables is well-known, so when Coworker K stepped over to find me poking dubiously at the plastic container holding her spinach salad, she took it all in stride. “Yeah, I know, rabbit food.”

The microwave chose that moment to beep, and as I pulled my lunch* out of it I declared “Not-Rabbit food!”

“I bought a bikini this weekend,” she volunteered, picking up her salad. “So today I’m dieting.”

Coworker K walked off, and all I could do was blink.

Ladies and gentlemen– she spend MONEY on CLOTHES SHE CANNOT WEAR BECAUSE THEY DO NOT FIT HER.

Nuh uh, pumpkins. This is not how we do it. We buy clothes that fit, that flatter, and that make us feel good, for the body we have right now, not for the body we wish we had.

And fuck the designers and their ‘sizes’.

*For those of you who care, my lunch consisted of vaugely-steamed zucchini**, country-style pork rib, brown rice.
**How to vaugely steam zucchini for lunch: cut into matchsticks or rather thin slices. Pile atop rice in a microwave safe tupperware. Nukerwave the tupperware with the lid on.

Didja Miss Me?

Where have I been, young lady?

On vacay at the Family Homestead in Nowheresville, California. Where there is no Internet access, no cell service, and no paved road. 

Staycations are for people too proud to mooch off their parents, yo.

I’m back, baby! And ready to start living la vida frugal and telling you all about my Adventures at the Casino and Next Steps in Financial Planning.

But right now I’m tired. Go read this thing from Single Ma about living life on your own terms. This is something I will expound upon later, the only person spending your money, honey, is Y-O-U.