…What? Why are you looking at me like that?
First of all, it’s a NaNoWriMo coffee mug that says ‘Can’t Talk. Noveling.’ And doesn’t have half-nekkid Pencillius on it, like my ’06 mug does (which makes it NSFW).
Secondly, I paid for it out of my Sonic Screwdriver budget line. That’s right, baby. I have a budget line for Random Acts of Fangirl Merchandise.
I know I make it look easy, but it’s a lot of hard work being so damn pretty.
Had to pop into Walgreens for some odds and ends (and Cadbury Creme Eggs. DON’T JUDGE ME!) I received a coupon with my receipt, stuffed it in my pocket, and it just fell out on the floor as I was reaching for my phone.
The coupon says that if I bring it back and purchase TWO (2) of a certain brand of haircare products, I’ll get ANOTHER coupon for my next purchase of the certain brand of haircare products, and on that third transaction, I’ll save two whole dollars!
Um, yeah, hi, no. I recycled that coupon.
I had a day off yesterday thanks to a meeting at church (when you’re basically an elected officer on the Board of Directors, you have to make time for these things). Afterwards, I stopped by the comic shop, and that meant that I had to drive past The Mall to get home.
And as I drove past The Mall, I remembered the $35 gift card to the Fat Girl Clothing Store (FGCS) in my wallet, and the sorry state of my work wardrobe (three pairs of black pants, one pair of grey pants, four shirts I like wearing, two shirts I’ll wear if the laundry hasn’t been done).
Because I’ve been a Fat Girl my whole life, clothes shopping has many, many negative connotations to it. I also come from a very fashion-conscious family, so I was subjected to a LOT of shopping as a child, and my mother still tries to dress me on every occasion she gets*. So when the urge to shop hits me, I do it, because it only happens, oh, once a quarter?
Sitting in the car in the parking lot, I went over the ground rules:
I haven’t been to the mall in ages. And it was sensory overload; I’m sure I had the deer in the headlights look. I walked past some people who were sitting in chairs in an impromptu food-cart food-court who were watching a plasma screen helpfully playing commercials. What the hell is that all about?
For those of you who have never shopped at FGCS, the clothing is all FGCS brand, is fairly sturdy (I wore one pair of pants from here basically every other working day (and for two weeks solid in Japan) for five years before they wore out), and is typically hit and miss between cute/professional and hootchiemama/circus tent.
I did a dash through the store and picked one of everything that I thought looked cute/professional. Onward to the changing rooms, where battle was joined!
Fourteen shirts went in, only one came out. And that one in a different size than the one I’d taken in to the dressing room with me.
Total so far: $19.99, marked down from 42.50.
I had been thwarted in my quest for two professional work shirts, I decided to continue in my quest to own more red t-shirts than anyone, ever. It’s genetic. Mom’s kryptonite is white t-shirts. Long-sleeved, heavy cotton slight v-neck t-shirts were on sale, $14.99 marked down from $24.99.
But it rang up as $24.99.
So I said, “Wait just a minute, that was from the sale rack!”
The salesperson said, “Oh, it was?” and did a price override without checking. Man, if she worked at the Big Blue Box, her behind would be in the LP office faster than you can say “written up”.
My grand total: $34.98. I have two cents left on my gift card.
Yeah, you know how we do it.
*Which I put up with while I’m visiting my mother, and as soon as she’s/I’ve gone home, I carefully fold the clothes after I’m done wearing them, and donate them to various charities, especially Dress for Success Oregon.
It’s payday. YAY! And I’ve been fighting the creepy, crawly ooze all week. Ew. Yuck. Gross. No.
Hanyoldway, being the last payday of the month, I opened up Google Docs and clicked on my Fancy Schmancy Budget file to set in the numbers for February. And when I did, I saw the big, pink note I’d left myself. Because I hate pink, I’d figured putting a pink note there would remind me.
The big pink note said, “Savings Moved 1/11.”
Translation: The money destined for my Cushion /Travel /Car Insurance /Freedom accounts in February I’d transferred to the respective accounts on January 11th.
Which is why my numbers were coming up about $250 short in my main Savings account.
So instead of being almost -260 in the hole for the month of January, I’m on track to be at +96. Which is a good thing, as March’s money is going to reflect
a) a shortened month,
b) five days off of w1rk and w2rk due to federal holidays, jury duty, and a meeting planned at church THREE MONTHS AGO that they decided to switch dates on this week, even though I’d gone to great lengths to get that weekend off, and
c) $125.11 pre-tax deduction at w1rk to pay for my bus pass. In its entirety, valid for the next 7 months, netting me a savings for those 7 months of $504, but it’s still owchies. Mind you, the last three-four months I’d gotten a net savings of $10.50 a month through w2rk. I think this is the better deal, nu?
Because I was employed by temp agencies for a very, very, VERY long time, I’ve gotten very used to Wednesday Payday.
So much so that creating a budget that doled out money by the month? Has caused COMPLETE SYSTEM FAILURE (Abort, Retry, Ignore?).
According to this month’s budget, I should have $220 left over 9 days from now, to put on, you know, my credit card debt or something.
Instead, according to my calculations, I’m -50 in the hole and still need to put gas in the car.
Contributing Factors to Epic Fail:
Things I’ve Done That are Win:
What I’m doing to prevent future epic fail:
Wednesday is the day I clean out my wallet and tell you what I found in it.
Buried deep beneath coupons and receipts that all got shredded (the coupons were for luxury items I won’t be able to purchase before the coupon expires), I found a fortune cookie fortune. It reads:
If you follow someone else, you are ignoring your own path.
My wallet has one of those view windows where you can put your ID, I used a little clear tape to stick the fortune in the window, coincidentally right over my address. There’s a happy face sticker over my DL number, already, ’cause that’s not really information I want people to see when I’m wrestling with my bus pass.
As all three of you who read this blog know, I differentiate my two different jobs by the designations w1rk and w2rk. Because I can. W1rk is a 40 hr a week desk long-term temp gig. W2rk is a variable schedule retail permanent gig.
This is not my first time doing the Multiple-Gig Mambo. I’ve had several side gigs in my life, everything from being an Independent Sales Rep for two different cosmetics companies (more on that in a minute), to handscoring standardized tests, to baby sitting, telephone fundraising, and janitorial work. Some of these gigs have been rather excellent, and some of them have been utter, abject failures I’m still trying to recover from.
So, here’s some things I’ve learned to ask myself when considering a second job:
1) Can I really do this? TWICE I’ve signed up as an independent sales rep for two seperate cosmetics companies. TWICE. Why? Because someone told me I’d be really, really good at it. Which just proves those two folks were excellent salespeople, since I have a deep aversion to make-up, born of sensitive skin and 8 years as a competitive dancer. I don’t wear the stuff. I’m also really, really, REALLY horrible at sales. REALLY TRULY. Customer service? Oh, I’m a whiz at that. You tell me what you want, and I’ll bend over backwards to get it done for you.
You know your own strengths and weaknesses. Make sure this second job is something that exercises your A Number 1 skills and has support in place to aid you in strengthening your weaker skill sets.
2) Am I physically capable of handling this job AND my main job? – I know if w1rk involved any kind of standing or lifting, I would not be able to handle all the standing and lifting at w2rk. My stamina is good, but it’s not that good. W2rk also allows me to do longer shifts on the weekends, so while I’m averaging a total of 58.25 hours worked between both gigs, I’m tending towards 6 days of 8 hour shifts and one day with an 8hours-4hours schedule. I can both sleep and cook nutritious meals.
One summer when I was in college, I was doing about 75 hours of work a week at two very physically demanding jobs. I also decided I was lacto-ovo vegetarian and ate mostly ice cream and Oreo cookies, while dealing with the stress of my mother battling cancer. I almost landed in the hospital due to iron-resistant anemia. I had to quit both my jobs and rely on cash from Mom and Dad. Moral of the story? Don’t be me!
3) What’s it going to cost? – This includes actual cash in gas, bus passes, uniforms, and inventory. I have a personal rule: initial cash layout for a gig must be less than one day’s worth of net income. W2rk has uniform standards, and while shirts are provided, I had to purchase all-black shoes and a belt before I started. Right now a friend’s bugging me to get back into doing some contract web graphic design for him. It’d cost about $500 for the software I need, and he’s only got one guaranteed gig, my cut of which will be $50. Yeah, hi? No.
If you’re going to be doing something that involves you keeping an inventory on hand, WORK IT, BABY! SELL SELL SELL! That inventory ain’t money in the bank until you cash your customer’s checks. If you have doubts about your ability to work it, baby, please go ahead and take a look at number 1 up there. We’ll wait.
4) What are the benefits for me working my tail off? – For a lot of people, this answer is going to be spelled with an $$$$. For me, though, it’s spelled ‘W2rk gives me health insurance’. Yes, you read it right, my part-time gig covers my health insurance while my full-time gig, being temp, doesn’t. So, in my case, the benefits of w2rking is… benefits!
Once you’ve weighed all these options, go ahead and put them aside for about a while and come back to them later. See them with a fresh eye and get a feel for how this will play out in your life. Then, make your decision.
I also found it’s helpful to reevaluate after 30, 90, and 180 days. Life changes quickly, and while last month’s obligations may have been finished, next month might serve up a doozy of a curve ball that will make w2rking impossible.
If you have to quit your w2rk, it is NOT a failure. It’s a transition.
Yup. That would pretty much define this weekend right there.
Why’d I spend so much this weekend? There were three factors:
1) Birthdays – I wound up going to two different birthday dinners. The first one I did very well, and stayed well within budget. The second one, I picked up the check. Which was the least I owed my Best Friend in the Whole Wide World since I sorta forgot to buy him a Christmas present, too. So, all told, I spent $52 on food and drinkies. Um. Whoops.
2) W2rk Lunches – I meant to cook up something yummy on Friday night to eat at w2rk this weekend, but I stayed later than I meant to at the birthday dinner and ran out of time. So I partook of the Meal Deal at w2rk on Saturday and Sunday. $6, yeah, I know, but I’m now out of money to eat at w2rk for the rest of the month.
3) Cranky – Oh my goodness, you did NOT want to be around me last night. Customers decided yesterday was “Hit Mary Sue on the Head With Very Heavy Objects That She Asked You Three Times Not To Move But You Went And Moved Them Anyway While She Was Under Them” Day. That didn’t cost me anything, but it sure as shootin’ didn’t make me happier when I looked in my wallet and figured out I’ve got $14 for the week, and I have to buy bus tickets, too.
My head still hurts, by the way.
My plan for this week, so I don’t have a repeat of this week’s financial meltdown:
1) COOK! – I don’t work a single evening this week (Praise the Deity of your Choice!) and I have a whole new batch of containers just begging to be filled with yummy, yummy, beans-and-starch combinations.
2) CLEAN! – My house is a mess. And that did nothing to help my crankypantsness when I got home last night and had to dig out a receipt to turn in for reimbursement at work. I found it in my BOOT, for chrissake. I haven’t worn my boots in four months, which means they’ve been sitting there under the catch-all since October. Cleaning up my room will make me a little less disorganized and a wee bit happier.
3) WATCH TEEVEE! – I’m surviving on a steady diet of BBCA right now because they’re pretty much the only channel that isn’t scabalicious due to the Writer’s Guild of America strike*. And my greatest joy is that it’s 13 days until new Doctor Who and Torchwood in the US! Just enough time for me to run a marathon. While I clean. Oh, Cap’n Jack. You make everything better! (And yes, I’ve seen the clip. Multiple times. Duh.)
*Yes, reality shows have writers. No, they’re not covered by the WGA and are therefore not given things such as overtime and health insurance. Yes, that’s really messed up. Yes, watching reality shows and late night talk shows other than Letterman and Ferguson during the WGA strike is hurting the cause. Momma didn’t raise no strikebuster!
Ok, so technically it’s not REALLY a con, but Wil Wheaton, whom I fangirled as a teenager for his acting and fangirl as an adult for his writing (seriously, go get Dancing Barefoot like, RIGHT NOW and read it all), informed me about Star Trek: THE TOUR.
*takes a deep breath*
OMGYAYAAYAYAYAAAAAY! I TOTALLY WANT TO GO! SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
*passes out ded from the squee*
However, as the nearest ST:TT is several hundred miles away, this will take planning. Not just to find my Bajoran ear cuff (you know you’re jealous), but financially.
Cons aren’t exactly spontaneous things. Typically you have several months to prepare. Some are planned years in advance (I’m aiming for ComicCon in 2010). There are four sets of numbers you will need to pull for a Con:
1) Vacation Time – Yeah, sure, most of them are over the weekend, but Thursday Night Parties. Do I have to say more?
What you need to ask yourself is do you have enough vacation time to cover this and still be able to go see Auntie Em at the Lake? If that answer is no, then the question is can you afford unpaid time off?
If you’re going the Unpaid route, figure out how much money you’d earn during the days you’re gone, and put a big minus sign in front of it. We’ll use this number later for a Very Painful Decision.
2) Room, Board, and Con Fees – Unless you’re a lucky bastard who lives in Seattle, you’re going to have to find a place to stay for PAX. It may be on the floor of a friend you met on the Internet’s apartment with 40 other fangirls or fanboys, but I’m getting too old for that stuff, myself. I like to sleep when I want to sleep and not share a bathroom. Figure the rate for every night of your stay, add about $15 for incidental taxes.
Food is going to be damn expensive in the Convention Center district. Same with booze, if that’s your thing. Figure about $50 a day. No, I’m not kidding.
Then there’s the cost to get into the Con itself, which can run from ‘ouch’ to ‘holygodsabove’. This may cover a few meals, if it’s one of THOSE kind of Cons, so knock $15 off your food budget for each meal covered.
Add up all those numbers, put a big minus sign in front of them, and put it under your Vacation Time number.
3) Schwag – You’re going to a con. You’re going to find something you absolutely cannot live without. And you’re still going to need to pay rent next month. I suggest going to all the vendor stalls before you actually buy something, to avoid blowing your entire budget on a scale model Puddlejumper when there’s a sonic screwdriver five tables down.
Again with the minus sign and add it to your little list of numbers.
4) Travel – Plane, train, shuttle, automobile, taxi, river raft, parking, tolls… You know the drill. Add ’em up and put a big ol’ minus sign in front of it, and put it on your list.
Now that you have all the hard part done, here comes the math: Add up all your negative numbers, and that’s how much this Con is going to cost you. Divide the total amount this Con is going to cost you by how many months are left until that Con, and take a good, long, hard look at that number.
That’s how much money you are going to need to put away each month between now and then to pay for this shindig. Is it a number you’re comfortable with? Will you be taking money away from your savings and investing and debt-reduction (see point two of the Fangirl Financial Plan: Credit cards are evil and must be vanquished)? Basically, can you afford this?
If the answer is no, well, that sucks. Oh well, there will be a KoLCon next year.
If the answer is yes, start socking that money away now.
And don’t forget your camera. I want photos, damnit!
Wednesday is the day I clean out my wallet. And tell you about some of the strange things I find in there.
$1.31 and four bobby pins. Four pins being the number I need to put my hair up in a french twist. I like twists better than pony tails because they get all the hair off of my neck, and after close to two decades of chin-length or shorter hair, having anything on my neck drives me MAD.
Now, I’d like to talk to you for a moment about YOUR wallet. As a cashier, I see a LOT of them. And I also see a lot of people who spend a lot of time digging through loose papers, cards, and other ephemera to get to what they’re looking for.
And I see a lot of people drop all those loose papers/cards/ephemera all over the floor. And a very nice complete stranger from the line will usually stoop down and help pick everything up.
Now, I like to think the best of people, but my identity was stolen last July. So whenever I see this very nice complete stranger help pick up things like credit card receipts, credit cards , government-issued Photo identification, I FREAK RIGHT THE HECK OUT. How easy is it for this complete stranger to slip some of the wee pieces of paper and plastic into their sleeve? Really, really, ridiculously goodlooking easy.
Please, please, PLEASE clean and organize your wallet regularly. Please? For me?
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